Let’s face facts, men, have been robbing the cradle since the beginning of time! Many women are now getting woke and dipping their feet into the tenderoni pond. Sure, younger men are appealing to the eye, trim, fragrant, lusty, and have more to offer?
Dating a younger man can be fun, especially if you’re a seasoned woman and know what you want in terms of dating and relationships. But realize this, dating a younger man is definitely different from dating a man your age or even older. There will be things you like (his energy) and things that might drive you to drink (like the fact he’s never heard of Donny Hathaway).
Paulette Sherman, psychologist, relationship expert, and author of Dating from the Inside Out, says that like any relationship, success depends on what the people involved are bringing to the table. “You can have a ‘young’ 50 year old or a very mature 25 year old, depending upon their life experience. So it’s good to look carefully at the individuals rather than just fostering limiting beliefs regarding age.”
Bottom line, there’s no telling which way you’ll feel about dating a younger man until you experience it.
When it comes to many celebrity relationships, age is really just a number. In 2013, songstress Tina Turner married her longtime love Erwin Bach after dating for over 25 years. She was 74 at the time of their marriage, and he was 58. They are still married today.
Together for more than 12 years, hunky actor Jason Momoa and Cosby Show alum Lisa Bonet’s romance proves that age doesn’t matter—especially when you’re both incredibly good-looking and famous. The two first coupled up when Momoa was just 26 and Bonet was 38. The loved-up pair, who now have two children, tied the knot in October 2017 in a romantic and intimate ceremony at their home amongst their nearest and dearest.
Liz D. 62, is a retired corporate executive who never married nor had children. Derrick W., 48, works in the transportation industry. He, too, never married but has two sons. The California residents met last November on an online dating site for African Americans. Derrick pinged Liz numerous times via the dating site, but she was not even slightly intrigued at first. Participants on dating sites must include along with their profile, a picture of themselves. One of Liz’s dating musts was that a potential mate is between the ages of 59 to 65.
After Derrick had messaged Liz five times, she finally responded. “Look, do you see our age difference? There’s a big gap here!” Derrick responded to Liz by letting her know how she shouldn’t place such an emphasis on numbers. He also expressed how he really wanted to just chat with her.
By message #8, Liz again messaged Derrick back, “I’m standing here in my older woman lane trying not to be distracted by all that man candy you’ve got going on.”
The more Liz demurred, the more Derrick persisted. By message #12, Liz decided to give Derrick a call but was slightly annoyed that he continued to ignore the blocks she had put up. She opened her call with…“Why do you keep messaging me? Don’t you get it? I’m too old for you!” Derrick, on the other hand, turned on the charm, and before Liz knew it, she was hooked!
Liz thought Derrick was intelligent, funny, and witty. She soon realized they had lots in common despite their 14-year age gap. Liz also came to realize that Derrick really did prefer and appreciate older women. Liz explained, “He said some people like tall folks, some people like asses. I love mature women because they have so much to offer.”
After getting to know each other via phone, Derrick and Liz finally met face-to-face last January right before the COVID-19 pandemic stopped a whole legion of blossoming romances in their tracks. They dated for about three weeks, and suddenly, stay-at-home measures aimed at curbing the spread of the coronavirus went into effect. Any person who didn’t live in your home was essentially accessible only via phone or video chat. Derrick and Liz’s romance that had just started to materialize was thrown into what felt like an involuntary long-distance relationship. The couple’s promising relationship did not, however, sputter and slow down, or come to a complete halt, instead, it kept blossoming.
Quarantining has had brutal consequences for many folks like Derrick and Liz, who had been enjoying the giddy, touchy-feely early stages of a romance. Caresses, hand-holding, and long mutual gazes at close range which all help to build the magical intimacy of new relationships was placed on hold for the pair. Instead, they steadily maintained their relationship via their nifty computers. Now, Derrick and Liz have now decided to quarantine together, and according to the pair, it is working out beautifully.
50BOLD.com wanted Liz and Derrick to share their feelings about their older woman/younger man relationship to give readers some insight as to why they broke away from the more traditional sexual scripts.
50BOLD: Why do you feel younger men pursue older women?
Derrick: Some younger men seek out an older woman because, for one, they are not focused on starting a family. The mature woman has experience in her arsenal and does not need to validate who she is. I don’t want someone who tries to lure me with sex by twerking in front of me! A seasoned woman is self-assured, self-confident, and there’s the stimulation of a sharp intellect. They have emotional stability. They are grounded. They can offer honesty and different perspectives. They know themselves. I don’t have to deal with the silly head games or immature antics. They are also not just looking for guys who will be good fathers and providers. Younger women just don’t allow me to grow in the ways older women do.
50BOLD: Do you believe younger guys bring excitement to the bedroom?
Liz: One thing is for sure: a younger man has more stamina in the bedroom. They have high sex drives, can last long during sex (or be physically ready to go at it again). At our age, sex is healthy!
I lived with a man for six years who was my age, and he did not measure up as far as sexual drive and staying power. Derrick’s level of affection and lovemaking is intense in comparison.
In addition to the sexual part of our relationship, Derrick loves to kiss, his lips and tongue are just intoxicating. Wow! Just wow! He also loves to cuddle, which is a turn-on for us both because sometimes, you just want to be wrapped in someone’s arms to feel the love in this way.
50BOLD: Is dating an older woman sexually satisfying?
Derrick: I want to make one thing clear, I’m not looking to be nurtured. Liz and I are on an equal playing field intellectually and sexually. An older woman knows exactly what she wants in bed and knows how to communicate it, so there is no guesswork! They will tell you if something you do is not working for them, and I appreciate this. Older women are solid, their bodies are solid, formed, and their thoughts are solid. Sex is so fulfilling and complete with Liz, so totally satisfying in every single way.
50BOLD: Does dating a younger man make you feel more attractive and young again?
Liz: I feel like, in the words of Aretha Franklin, a Brand New Me when I’m with Derrick.
At first, I felt insecure about initially exposing my body to him. I felt like here is this younger man with a body that is tight and right. On the other hand, here I am with all this bounce-to-the-ounce going on! I felt embarrassed about having a fat stomach.
Derrick makes me feel comfortable in my own skin. He will touch my body in ways that reassure me of how much he truly loves what he’s holding. Derrick also calls me “Gorgeous!” Who would think someone younger would consider me gorgeous?
50BOLD: Are younger guys more fun?
Liz: Derrick is one hundred percent more fun than any man I’ve dated. He brings excitement into my life.” For example, I have not smoked pot since I was in my 20’s. Derrick reintroduced it to me, and we occasionally indulge since cannabis is legal in California. We have a good old time after indulging! I am actually thinking about growing marijuana.
We also love going to restaurants, and concerts. I am high energy and love the fact that Derrick is too. He never puts up blocks with regards to entertainment, and I’ve yet to hear the phrase, “I’m too tired to go anywhere.” Now, during this pandemic, we love sitting on my veranda, and listening to music as we gaze out into the ocean.
50BOLD: Are you a cougar?
Liz: Don’t call me a cougar! A cougar is typically defined as an older woman who is primarily attracted to younger men for sex. I am not a cougar because I did not prey on Derrick for sex. Remember, I was not interested in pursuing a relationship with a younger man.
Dating a younger man is refreshing. It definitely feeds a seasoned woman’s ego and makes her feel sexy and attractive. And yes, the relationship satisfies those thrill-seeking urges. I was not, however, seeking a relationship with an expiration date. I was seeking a meaningful relationship and wanted it to go the distance. I am keeping my fingers crossed that what I have with Derrick will be lasting.
50BOLD: Is there a future with an older woman?
Derrick: As far as I can see, I am in love with Liz; she is everything I need. I don’t have any desire to seek someone closer to my age. Liz is a match for me in all areas, so why should I go anywhere else? The fact that she is older is a non-issue for me, and age never comes into play. Liz is beautiful inside and out. She makes me happy. I encourage my brothers out there to not judge a woman by her age. When you meet someone, you are attracted to don’t let a number put you off. You could be turning away from that gem you’ve been looking for all along.