Many 50-plussers have kicked sex to the curb because of emotional or physical challenges. Sexperts say, however, that all is not lost! You can get your sexual mojo back in gear. Keep in mind that maintaining a good sex life in your later years is healthy. Sex can keep you in shape both mentally and physically.
We can all agree that aging and sex is not always a smooth situation but understanding the issues that can creep up is job one towards finding solutions.
Worrying about how you look. True dat, aging can typically bring on wrinkles, gray hair, love handles, some sagging skin here and there, varicose veins and so you might not feel attractive when it comes to your body. Having a lack of confidence when it comes to your body will definitely take away from your desire to be sexual.
Emotional changes. Aging can bring on stress, anxiety, depression and these emotions will affect your sex life and cause you to disconnect from your partner.
Poor self-esteem. Retirement, work and life changes can leave you feeling uncertain about what life has in store for you down the pike. Feeling insecure about your future and life’s purpose can douse self-esteem and make you feel less attractive to others.
Performance woes. Fretting about how you will perform in the bedroom can result in impotency in men and a lack of arousal or orgasm in women.
There is light at the end of the tunnel. Consider these tips for getting your sex life back in motion…
Change your definition of sex. Understand that the definition of sexuality broadens as we age. Sex can mean many things and not just penetration! Closeness, tenderness, touching, kissing, playfulness, can be a sensual experience for both partners.
Get talking! Sex between two consenting adults who have some mileage on them is STILL a beautiful thing! The only way to work through any sexual angst or issues is to dialog about what you’re feeling. Talk to your partner, counselor, doctor about the issues you’re experiencing. Ask for and accept reassurance if you need it. Keep the lines of conversation open as issues crop up.
Find relaxation time. When folks relax and destress, confidence and comfort will surface. Try giving each other massages or even bathe together. When you totally feel at ease, issues with erectile dysfunction or vaginal dryness can become a thing of the past.
Grab his/her hand. Hand holding is not only for the young! Hand holding is touch and this is a good thing. According to scientists, the commonplace behavior triggers chemical reactions in our minds that make us feel loved, secure, happy, safe, and cared for. Holding hands boosts bonding and also provides a comfy sensation that eases stress.
Find what works for you NOW. Who cares that you can no longer perform those circus-like sex acts of yester year! Do what works for you at this point in time. Sex as you age might mean getting more creative because of the limitations that aging can bring but go for it. Try positions that are comfortable and pleasurable for you both. If dysfunction is an issue, there is always gentle touching, mutual masturbation, oral sex, kissing, humping, sex toys, tickling, the sky is the limit!
