lonely

Is it pathetic not to have a partner, especially over age 50? According to a 2008 study published in the Journal of Psychology, single people are often thought to be unhappy by others. Yet, relationship experts believe that many of us tend to sometimes rely too heavily on our partners. Well, there also happens to be a flip side. When you’re alone, there’s a strength that almost has to be present in you. 

True that, sometimes being single can be lonely and frustrating. But also, not having a partner can feel freeing and empowering if you let it. Being in a healthy and satisfying relationship has its perks, BUT quite a lot of good can come from being solo too. Research has also proven how being single provides an opportunity to tap into one’s inner strengths, which in turn can actually manifest in a greater level of confidence. The best relationships occur when you have a solid understanding of your needs, wants, and values. Having this level of confidence will open up all kinds of relationship doors.

If you are dealing with feelings of isolation and long for a better half, you can reframe your perspective to feel better about being single.    

Work on being a better you. Being single allows you to work on yourself. Many folks in relationships frequently complain about how they lose touch with themselves. Flying solo creates the opportunity to focus on your personal development and what you stand for. It is also a good time to reflect on lessons learned from former lovers. Being single allows you to reassess who you are, what changes you need to make, and where you want to be in life. You can also take the time to figure out what life course you wish to pursue or new attitudes you’d like to develop. Simply put, living a single life allows you to design your best day without interference.

Prioritize your self-care. Sometimes being in a relationship takes away from making YOU a priority. Not having a partner allows you to refocus on those areas in your life that need attention, like exercising, spending quality time with good friends, or making personal growth choices like going back to school.

Love being your own boss. There is compromise in every relationship, but you call all the shots when you don’t have someone else to consider! What if you want to relocate, take a sudden trip overseas, or buy a new car, you have no one else to weigh in on your decision but YOU! There’s nobody hindering you from setting out to chase your wants and desires.

Welcome meeting new people. Take the time during your singlehood to meet new folks. Making new friends will get you out of your routine and out of creating new adventures. New friendships can also bring new perspectives, enhancing how you view the world. You get to pick and choose who to make friends with as a single person. Diversify your friendships so that you can experience opportunities you would have missed out on otherwise. The research has been done, and the findings are clear, friendships enhance our lives. Having friends and spending time with them makes us happier and healthier and lets us live life to its fullest.

Learn how to hold yourself accountable. When you do figure out what you really want and how you want to live your life, it’s on you to hold yourself accountable. When you are single, you are empowered to make your own choices and to hold yourself accountable for those choices. You learn to forge your own way, which elevates inner confidence and resilience. When you are alone, you also have to be more self-sufficient.

Being single can serve as a significant catalyst for inner growth. It often encourages you to look inward and take better care of yourself mentally and physically since you are not navigating between your own needs and those of your partner.

So, if you are pining over not being in a romantic partnership, STOP THE PITY PARTY! Becoming stuck in this debilitating state of mind means you run the risk of not feeling empowered, not finding solutions, and not achieving what you want in the long term.