In 1993, Dr. Arthur Aron, a psychologist from the State University of New York at Stony Brook, developed a 36-question questionnaire with which he said that it was possible to create such an intimacy between two individuals that they could fall in love in a mere 45 minutes.
Despite this claim of more than 20 years ago, The New York Times published Dr. Aron’s experiment and it was self-replicated by a writer who claimed it worked on a stranger she met in a bar.
Since Dr. Aron created the quiz, he’s even seen it rekindle romance in long-term relationships. “When you’re first in a romantic relationship, there’s an intense excitement. But then you grow used to each other,” Dr. Aron told Berkeley News. “If you do something new and challenging, that reminds you of how exciting it can be with your partner. It makes your relationship better.”
Questions to make someone fall in love
In the original experiment, Dr. Aron was looking for a way for two people to become quickly intimate. After several weeks of testing and after getting several subjects to answer these questions as a couple, two of the couples present got married.
The experiment consisted, therefore, of answering these 36 questions, and then the participants had to look each other in the eye for 4 minutes. According to the author, this created a bond of intimacy that was sufficient for the two people to get to know each other thoroughly and to intensify the connection between them.
In the following lines, you can find the 36 questions that Dr. Aron considers infallible to fall in love when asked in this order. The questions start with trivial issues and then moves on to more intimate matters over a period of 45 minutes.
Even if you are in the throes of dating or in a long-term relationship, why not give this test a try? I know, we’re seasoned folks and perhaps a bit more skeptical when it comes to certain claims but look at it like this, you have nothing to lose and lots of good, interesting conversation to gain.
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, who would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you’re going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a perfect day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you choose?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamt of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?