After being in a committed relationship for so many years, a significant other can start to feel more like a roommate rather than a romantic partner. If you’ve stayed the course with love but feel your emotions need an injection, try these suggestions on how to bring romance back into your relationship:
Sex it up. When there is a temporary love disconnect there tends to be less sex. According to sex therapists, having good sex is a great way to spark that connection with your mate because it taps into feel-good and love-inducing hormones. Is this scenario familiar to you…after a good sex session, a couple will look at each other and state, “why don’t we do this more often?”
Take a relaxing drive to nowhere. Driving for long periods will sometimes get folks to open up. Take a drive to nowhere special. Long drives are quiet, isolated and can motivate you both to open up and speak honestly about your relationship. Being in such close and quiet quarters will also allow you to listen to what the other has to say and this can actually bring you closer together.
Try some touchy-feely. Mere touching can spark those sometimes buried feelings of love. Holding hands, a soft facial caress, spooning, dancing close together, hugging, kissing, cuddling, as humans, we need touch to thrive! In fact, a 2014 survey presented at the Edinburgh International Science Festival found that couples who slept the closest to each other reported having more relationship satisfaction. Try being affectionate and playful with one another in front of others. It’s not enough to just brag to each other in private, it’s also significant to compliment your mate in public. Love experts agree that when touching stops, feelings also tend to follow suit.
Say “thank you.” Showing your mate gratitude for the things they do is important because no one wants to feel they are being taken for granted. Feeling appreciated makes you not only feel special but can foster a sense of wellbeing in a relationship. This goes a long way toward showing each other respect.
Have some fun. Participating in fun activities together can also get those love juices flowing. See a movie or play, attend church services, check out a concert, doing things together, and sharing fun activities will re-strengthen a relationship, and possibly lead to fun times under the sheets.
Flirt. Remember when flirting was sexy? Well, why not flirt with your mate to rekindle what was? Speak in a positive, complimentary, and loving way when you flirt. Try doing something that makes you both laugh, send a sexy text, wear his/her fave scent or outfit, try giving your mate a surprise massage, sit close together while watching TV, bring back those loving pet names; flirting is guaranteed to kick the marriage doldrums to the curb.
Clear your schedule. Rearrange your plans to make your mate a higher priority. Spending quality time together will help put your love back on track. You will need to spend time together if you want to fall in love all over again. Remember what attracted you to your significant other. When you make your partner feel that they matter, those butterflies you once felt will flutter back!
Get away. Take a break from your regular routines and get away with your partner. If you can’t afford to take a vacation, try a staycation, where you give the boot to all distractions and instead, spend quality time with your loved one at home. Carving out some special time with your mate will help you both focus on what’s important, your committed relationship.
Be complimentary. Stop the negativity! Being negative can lead to nagging, criticism, and just outright rude and callous behavior which are definite turn-offs! Focus, instead, on the good things about your mate and let them know you are noticing them by being complimentary. Positivity is always encouraging and can stimulate feel-good emotions all around.
Put the brakes on technology. Put yourself on a tech diet. Technology has caused conflict in many love relationships because personal communication has taken a backseat. In a 2014 Brigham Young University survey of heterosexual women, 70% felt that smartphones and other devices were interfering with or interrupting conversations, activities, and special time with romantic partners. Agree to cut out phones and television at mealtimes and in the bedroom, or decide together about specific times you will and will not use technology, or else risk a disconnect in your relationship.
