When you’re dating and the moment of truth arrives, if you and your partner’s sexual preferences don’t somewhat align, then this can be a problem down the line. Sexual compatibility can be a tricky thing to gauge, especially when you’re talking about your ability to be compatible in the long-term. All signs could point to a great partnership, but you never know what life is going to fling your way. According to sex therapists, sexual appetites don’t have to be a perfect match, but they need to be in the same ballpark.
Sexual compatibility can often boil down to communication, a healthy lifestyle, being open to new experiences and most of all having fun. However, in some instances, there are great sexual incompatibilities from the very beginning. If sex means love and intimacy to you, but your partner sees it only as a release, it’s not likely to work out in the long-run, so it’s probably best to fold ’em and move on because the situation might not get any better.
Take this quiz to find out if you and your partner are sexually compatible.
Question 1: Are you turned on by your partner’s body?
0=No/Never: Hell no!
1=Sometimes/Maybe: Yes, it isn’t perfect, but I can live with it
3=Yes/Always: I can’t keep my hands off my partner’s body
Question 2: Can you be truthful about your bedroom likes and dislikes?
0=No/Never: I could never bring it up–NEVER!
1=Sometimes/Maybe: Sure, I can bring up some things for discussion
3=Yes/Always: I can unload without feeling embarrassed, my partner is open to suggestions and criticisms
Question 3: Are you both equally passionate and kinky in the bedroom?
0=No/Never: Nah, my partner can be the freak of the week and I’m reserved
1=Sometimes/Maybe: Sexually, we both pretty much share the same sexual appetite and are not too far gone on the freak scale
3=Yes/Always: We are two sexy seniors who enjoy sex and love getting kinky too
Question 4: Has the subject of sex toys come up or have you used them?
0=No/Never: I want to try them, but my partner is a prude
1=Sometimes/Maybe: We’ve tried a couple, but my partner wasn’t too happy
3=Yes/Always: We love bringing sex toys into the mix
Question 5: Do you look forward to sex?
0=No/Never: No, and I blame my partner
1=Sometimes/Maybe: Not really, but it’s me, not my partner.
3=Yes/Always: Hell yes!
Question 6: Do you make excuses not to have sex?
0=Yes: Pretty much all the time
1=Sometimes/Maybe: It doesn’t hurt to tell a little white lie every now and then
3= Nope, this is not a part of my sexual repetoire
Question 7: Have you faked an orgasm with your partner?
0=Yes: Guilty and I’m pretty good at it
1=Sometimes/Maybe: I have done so a few times
3=No/Never: I don’t need to do this at all
Question 8: Do you like the way your partner smells?
0=No/Never: Strange question. My partner smells OK most of the time.
1=Sometimes/Maybe: Whenever my partner wears the scent I like, it is on and poppin’!
3=Yes/Always: I LOVE my partner’s smell, bathed or unbathed!
Question 9: Besides the sexual aspect, do you get along?
0=No/Never: Not really. We are having major problems in and out of the bedroom.
1=Sometimes/Maybe: We get on each other’s nerves sometimes, but in general, we do OK.
3=Yes/Always: My partner and I are truly friends and get along so well
Question 10: Are you willing to put some extra work into your
0=No/Never: Honestly, that ship has sailed, and I can’t be bothered
1=Sometimes/Maybe: I’m willing to learn and try new things.
3=Yes/Always: We are always looking for ways to enhance our sexual connection and are open to pretty much whatever
Completely Incompatible (Score 0-8 points)
Let’s chat. You’ve got sexual issues! Either you two are simply mismatched, sexual appetite-wise, or there are deep underlying relationship issues that have made their way into the bedroom. If it’s a case that one of you is boring and the other is hot to trot— but the rest of the relationship is sound and healthy — then schedule an appointment with a sex therapist to learn techniques and strategies for meeting in the middle and surviving the sexual chasm. These types of sexual problems can be overcome.
However, if the reason for the low score is because the relationship, on the whole, is rocky, then it’s high time to begin couples therapy or individual counseling.
Lukewarm Lovers (Score 9-18 points)
Most of us are members of the PG-13 club at some point in a long-term relationship, and that’s OK.
Thankfully, you at least recognize that sex is important and you’re caring about the experience. Your biggest challenge will be not getting humdrum and stuck in a rut. Unfortunately. when the honeymoon shine wears off, keeping things spicy becomes work. But you’re not alone! This is true of most long term relationships. If you’re up to the challenge, keep trying new things. Look to TV, movies, and the internet for inspiration. Try a sex therapist if any sexual problems crop up or if you don’t know how to get creative. You can learn!
Hot & Heavy (Score 19-30)
Congratulations! You two are sexually compatible. You appear to be well-matched as far as your sexual appetites go, and you’re definitely “into it.” Having similar levels of passion and a shared propensity for exploration and experimentation is a blessing. Keep doing what you’re doing; it’s obviously working.