Millennials came up with the term self-partnership but we seasoned folks call not being in a relationship, “single,” or “available.” According to love experts, self-partnership is definitely not a death sentence and can, in fact, be beneficial in a number of ways.
Apparently, when in a love relationship, many folks tend to transfer the responsibility of their own wellbeing to their mates, which can cause conflict. There can also be quite a bit of self-sacrificing and compromise when you are coupled.
In a self-partnership, you are living outside of a love relationship. You are committed to honoring your own needs, healing your own wounds, and working towards your own self-growth. Being solo is choosing to embrace the adventure of solitude.
This daily commitment to yourself has huge benefits.
Those who self-partner tend to embrace new opportunities that can help move their lives to the next level. They focus on the ideal of being happy and complete as they fly solo, and don’t feel compelled to find a mate to be fulfilled. This, however, does not necessarily mean that a self-partnered person fails to date, or never hopes to find a permanent love. Someone who is self-partnered also looks at the positive aspects of singlehood, such as contentedness, rather than loneliness.
Society typically makes folks who are single feel bad about not being in a relationship, especially, if they are looking for someone and keep coming up empty. Many folks tend to look down on someone who is all about self-care, self-growth and view these types of people as selfish or too self-involved.
Clinicians agree, however, that on average, folks who are in a self-partnership are more extraverted than those who are afraid of being single. They have more friends than married people do and do more to maintain relationships with friends, neighbors, siblings, and parents. Here is another plus, when they do get into a romantic relationship and find it unsatisfying, they are more likely to break it off, than people who are afraid of being single.
Being in a self-partnership gives you a free pass to be selfish. You get to do what makes you feel comfortable and happy. Taking the time to appreciate a relationship with yourself is an endeavor that can definitely benefit your overall wellbeing. When you learn to appreciate yourself, value your alone time, and do things on your own with pleasure, inviting someone into your life to share this with you, will be even more special because you won’t need them, you will want them.
What matters most is that you continue to work on the one relationship, you are guaranteed to have for the rest of your life: the one you have with yourself.