As 50-plussers, we know what we want (or don’t want) in bed. Age does not define how wonderful our sex life can be. Some will say that the frequency of sex declines with age, yet many seasoned folks are still getting action. Approximately 40 percent of men and women ages 65 to 80 are sexually active according to a recent National Poll on Healthy Aging.
For those folks who are wishing to embark on a more exciting sexual journey, the key is to begin to unravel negative patterns. Starting a regimen that includes good medical care, regular exercise, and healthy nutritional habits are all sure to boost a dull sex life.
Now is the time to reclaim our passion!
We seasoned adults have an advantage over our younger counterparts. We are WOKE and know what arouses our mind and body. With our adult children out of the house, there is now more time and privacy to be innovative with our sexual repertoire.
So, let’s get busy!
Have fun with sex. New research at the University of Manchester found that adults are having sex well into their 70s and 80s, and they’re not too shy to talk about it. According to Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. (aka Dr. Romance), a psychotherapist and author of The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make After Forty, we should “Focus on having fun, instead of meeting a goal. Some sex encounters go well. Some don’t. So have a sense of humor—a lighter attitude makes sex more fun.”
Handle those sexual “been-wanting to’s….” Tomorrow is not promised. Why not get cracking on your secret sexual bucket list? A younger partner? Ménage à trois? Dominatrix role-playing? Virtual sex parties? Mile-high club? One-night stand? Whatever your pleasure, go for it! Propel yourself out of your sexual rut but remember to practice safe sex.
Go naked between the sheets. Ever wonder what it would be like to sleep in the nude but you’ve been too prudish to try it? Getting naked and letting it all hang out according to experts is therapeutic, healthy, and should be done often. By the time you reach midlife and beyond, you should feel comfortable in the skin you’re in which is a crucial step in creating a healthy relationship with yourself. Going to bed naked and having skin-to-skin contact with your mate can signal the release of the feel-good hormone oxytocin which can lead to hot lovemaking. Nudity in bed is the best way to become even more emotionally and physically intimate which can result in a more satisfying sex life.
Hug from behind. Give your lover a hug from behind and coo a couple of sexy lines in their ear while you’re at it. All you need to do is place your arms around their waist and lay your head against their shoulder from behind. You’ll feel safe, they’ll feel safe. Then, squeeze them in reassurance if you need to. This move is sure to enhance spontaneity.
Pre-foreplay. The appetizer to the main course is sometimes better than the main course! Pre-foreplay is all of the things that you do before the first kiss or touch which contribute to your being relaxed and ready for sex. It takes the stress out of the equation, leaving you relaxed and ready to enjoy sex. For those struggling with low libido, pre-foreplay can be the difference between having a nice time and enjoying the orgasm that you dreamed of. Try sending your mate a sexy text message earlier in the day. How about leaving a naughty sticky note on your lover’s steering wheel telling them what you plan on doing to them later?
Shine a spotlight on your mate. Many seasoned folks often feel invisible and unattractive. The wolf whistles or admiring stares from yesteryear are now just a memory. Let your mate know how they still turn you on. Give your lover attention and it will definitely lead to affection.
Erectile dysfunction an issue? Ladies, let your man know how sex is not all about penetration. Outercourse is the new intercourse for many 50-plussers. Enjoy an old-fashioned makeout session, grope each other like horny teens.
Did you know dry humping mimics the motions of sexual activity without actually having intercourse? It can satisfy sexual urges in a pleasurable, and exciting way and for many, it can even bring on an explosive orgasm (especially for women due to clitoral stimulation) and all while your clothes are still on!
Try taking a shower together, lathering each other up while gently touching, kissing, and caressing your lover, will make bathing a passionate, loving, and sensuous experience for you both.