How to get through Mother’s Day after losing your mother

How do you come to grips with the fact that she is gone, and no longer in your life?

How do you cope with the loss of a mother? The relationship between you and your mother is the most profound one you’ll ever have in your life. She is the woman who gave birth to you. She fed and nurtured you. She is the one you turned to when you were hurting, needed advice. She is your advocate, protector, best friend. A mother is your everything; she is a part of you.

How do you come to grips with the fact that she is gone, and no longer in your life?

Losing a parent happens to everyone. Grieving a mother is perhaps one of the most difficult things we have to do but it is a natural progression of life. To lose a mother is traumatic no matter what age you are, or they may be at the time.

For those of you who have lost your mother, how do you get through one of the most difficult days of the year–Mother’s Day?

Here are a few strategies to help you cope on Mother’s Day:

  1. Stay away from triggers that will cause you pain. Steer clear of grief instigators like the Mother’s Day card aisles in stores, or the social media posts where folks are honoring their moms.  Why rub salt in your wound?  Give yourself a break on Mother’s Day and try not to expose yourself to the non-stop Hallmark card revelers on this day as they are sure to take you to a hurtful place.
  1. Make a plan for the day that involves taking care of you.  Exercise, listen to uplifting music, catch up on your reading, work or even do some house cleaning; take a hike in a beautiful park, ask a few supportive friends or family over for some laughs, drive along a scenic route.  Don’t involve yourself in activities that will remind you of your loss.
  1. Do something to honor your mother. Surround a framed photograph of your mom with flowers. Plant a favorite flower bush or tree in her honor in your garden. Make a donation in her name to a favorite cause she supported. Visit places that both you and your Mom enjoyed frequenting like a fave eatery, museum, shopping center. These kinds of activities are actual tools that will help as you journey through this important life transition.
  1. Give writing a try. Try journaling or even writing a letter to your mom to let her know about noteworthy events that have taken place in your life during the year. Writing poetry is another good way of releasing inner feelings.
  1. Call upon your spirituality. Let your spirituality take you through this day for it can be a salve for a hurt soul and an incredible comfort in times of loss.  Take a moment to meditate or pray — no matter what your faith —spirituality can put troubles into focus, and even fuel and strengthen you.

If you’re a mom, keep in mind that this is your day to be celebrated as well. You can grieve your loss but understand that your mother would want you to revel in all of your blessings on this particular day. Gradually, as you go through this grieving process, the acute pain will subside, and you will be left with the nurturing love of your mother in your heart to guide you on your path through life.

Happy Heavenly Mother’s Day with much love to my beautiful Mom, Providencia Rivera Manuel, you are forever in my heart.