As you age, many of you tend to take a pass on having sex due to emotional or medical challenges. But here’s the deal, most of these issues have a remedy. You can get your sex life on and poppin’ again! Maintaining a sex life during your seasoned years is a matter of good health because it keeps you in mental and physical shape.
In order to get your sex life going again, you must first understand the issues that are getting it off track because it’s an effective way to work towards finding a remedy.
Stop worrying about how you look. Don’t let the media or anyone else make you feel that you are not enough and need to change your body to be loved and accepted. You are valuable, regardless of your physical appearance. Don’t waste time feeling inadequate because you will truly miss out on opportunities for joy! Negative body image can lead to depression, shyness, social anxiety, and self-consciousness in intimate relationships. Know this; the human body is a biological masterpiece! Your worth does not depend on how closely you fit the unrealistic images created by the media. Remember to be your body’s ally and advocate, not it’s enemy.
Kick low self-esteem to the curb. Life changes can leave you feeling insecure. Your self-esteem is a measure of how worthy you think you are. A lack of confidence leads to self-doubt, and this can make you feel unlovable to your partner. Understand that you are valuable and deserve to feel good about yourself. Spend some alone time to get to know yourself, which will allow you to discover where you are unique, special, and worthy, which will help you gain a better appreciation of yourself. Become aware when you are too critical of yourself, and then remind yourself that these are not facts, which will help you avoid negative emotions that can lead to negative self-talk.
Never compare yourself to others. Mental health experts warn that comparisons only lead to a negative self-image, which can lead to poor self-esteem, stress, and anxiety that in turn, can ruin many facets of your life. Try this, repeat positive affirmations that you want to believe about yourself daily to help get you back on the right track to a time before you had low-self esteem. In fact, research shows that positive affirmations can even help lessen symptoms of depression and more. Maintaining a clean appearance, eating right, and exercising regularly also helps to boost self-esteem. According to numerous studies, making your living space comfy, clean and attractive also helps to improve the way you feel about yourself.
So, it ain’t like it use to be! Fretting about your sexual performance will only lead to impotence in men and a lack of arousal in women. Often, aging, and sexual performance issues go hand-in-hand but all is not lost! When you’re spending intimate time with your partner, share your thoughts about lovemaking. Help your partner understand what you want and be honest about what you’re feeling. As a man ages, the penis may take longer to become erect, and erections may not be as firm. In women, menopause can cause hormone levels to decrease, which may lead to vaginal dryness and slower sexual arousal.
Aging can also bring on illnesses that involve the cardiovascular system — such as high blood pressure, diabetes, hormonal problems, depression, or anxiety — can pose challenges to being sexually active. The meds used to treat these conditions also can inhibit your sexual response. So it’s essential to tell your doctor about any sexual problems you’re having because medications might be to blame, or it can be an early sign of illness.
You might be a candidate for certain medications that are frequently prescribed for sexual problems BUT always talk to your doctor before taking any over-the-counter supplements or drugs, even if they are marketed as “natural” sexual performance enhancers.
Here’s what we do know, as an older adult, you can never go back to the sexual arousal and activity levels of yesteryear. Still, you can indeed find ways to have satisfying sexual experiences at this stage of the game.
Sex can often be positively affected by a boost in day-to-day physical activity. That’s because regular exercise can increase your overall energy level, self-confidence, and blood circulation.
How about breaking up your lovemaking routine? A whole new world of excitement can be discovered by purposefully breaking up your routine. Consider making love in a new space or at a different time of day. Outercourse (sex without penetration) is the new intercourse! Get kinky, introduce sex toys into the bedroom or even sexting (sending a sexy text to your mate) but make sure it goes to the right person! Don’t neglect the old tried-and-true romance moves that can get those butterflies fluttering again like flirting, cuddling, tickling, slow dancing, showering together, and even holding hands.
Just get busy! Realize that sex is healthy and necessary, like exercise! Even if you don’t feel like it, once you are in the moment, it just may surprise you with pleasure and satisfaction. Once you get back in the swing, you’ll not only feel better, but your sex drive should naturally get going again.
Here’s a feel good thought, “People who remain sexually active as they age do tend to live longer,” says James Dewar, MD, vice chairman of family medicine at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center.
One important thing to keep in mind, sex may be more emotionally fulfilling because now it is driven less by hormones and more by the desire to share yourself with someone who loves you.